Ultra Breastfeeding

I was delighted, excited, inspired on discovering the news of Jasmin Paris's victory as the first woman to win the Montane Spine race, a 268 mile race that covers the entire Pennine Way. A quick look on the race's webpage sees it sell itself as "one of the toughest ultra-distance races in Europe." Not only that, but she smashed any previous record (including men) by 12 hours. She is in the middle of a PhD and works as a vet. And of course she is still nursing her 16 month old and so had to express breast milk at stops along the way.

The first thing that struck me, as a breastfeeding mother, was if there is ever an example of how life can continue while breastfeeding this is it. Quite often you will hear other mothers complain that they need to stop breastfeeding as they want to "get their life back" (is this even possible after having a child?!). If you are still breastfeeding your baby, toddler or child, it is often assumed that you should stop for the same reason, that this will somehow give you your life back, and that a nursing mother will resent the attachment she is maintaining with the child. Every mother has her own very individual reasons for why they may want to end breastfeeding at a certain time, and this is of course to be respected. But personally I feel that it is having the child, if anything, that has curbed feelings of independence rather than the breastfeeding itself. Further still, for me it is actually quite the opposite. I feel that by maintaining breastfeeding a mother can potentially feel more independent as she can feel reassured that their child is getting the comfort, security and support through all those wonderful chemicals in the breast milk and the physical act itself, therefore allowing herself a little more peace of mind for the child's wellbeing - and therefore a little more head space for yourself! Jasmin Paris is an example of how nursing a child can exist harmoniously with an individual's lifestyle - and just how far that can be taken.

The other thing to strike me was of course that a woman had won this race and beaten any previous male records. My first naive thought was - so that can happen? On doing a little more reading on the matter, apparently in longer endurance races, the advantage the male has over the female begins to disappear, because such races are much more about psychological strength over the physical. A little more reading into long distance running differences between genders suggests that women are better at maintaining a pace than men. Men tend to push themselves too hard and then have to reduce their pace, where as women maintain the same level more easily. Great - but are women therefore not pushing themselves as much as men, are are there other physiological reasons for this? If women assume they are not going to be as good as their male competitors, to what degree does this impact on the female psyche and therefore their overall performance in sport? I would be interested to see the impact on future sportswomen if such gender distinctions in sport were removed. I can't help thinking their is a lot of unlocked potential out there.

How to Live

We decided to treat ourselves to breakfast out today. We have a small vegetarian cafe nearby called Malacarne. The women that work there are always so friendly and welcoming and the food is delicious. I had pancakes with cream (the lightest and fluffiest), passionfruit, pineapple and a fruity brittle. UU had some pancakes with berries and a little maple syrup. J had avocado, feta and poached eggs on toast with chilli oil. UU loved it and was well aware of what a treat it was. Trips to cafes as a family with a toddler can be incredibly stressful - the complete opposite of what was intended by the experience. However, today went smoothly enough; myself and partner worked as a good enough team. This parenting thing is a continuing work in progress.

We don't eat out often at all really these days. We are lucky that we can live off one main income and I can look after the little one during the week, but we have to be thrifty to make it work (although i secretly enjoy being thrifty: I hate any waste and feel pained if something goes off and we have to throw it away. I will base a whole meal around something that needs using up). Anyone with young children will know the extortionate nursery fees mean that often you are just working to pay the nursery. I wouldn't be being honest though if I said that was the reason I left full time work. I wouldn't have it any other way and love seeing UU grow. Being a teacher for a few years before she came along, I had a love of learning and seeing people learn. I think this is the most important part of the job; if you have that, everything else falls into place. U is learning every day, and nurturing that growth is my main job now.

I would never have predicted that this would be my life now - a stay at home mum, technically speaking,  I suppose. I do a little work from home, but it feels funny to call those few hours "work" when there is a much bigger task at hand (to say the least).

I remember something one of my old colleagues said to me when I told her that I had decided to leave my full time job. She also stayed at home to bring up her children many years ago and has actually just retired from teaching. She said quite simply, "there are so many different ways to live". It really stuck with me. There are, and I see that now. But there is a pressure there, often a pressure I can't exactly pinpoint. It comes from all angles really, in subtle and consistent ways. A pressure to be "striving" for something. Now of course it is important to have dreams, to follow passions, if you have that luxury. But so far in life I have found I am not the sort of person to have a distant ambition and then do absolutely everything to get there. But it can often feel that this is the way everyone should think and feel about life. This pressure is what makes capitalism successful, as everyone strives to outdo each other. Certain careers are deemed more "successful" than others based on how much money one gets from them. So many people must feel inadequate if their life does not fit this model. Caring for people is not respected in our society; caring professions are under paid, people who have to care for family members are given little support.

I have found that many people have a negative opinion if you decide to stay at home to bring up your child, almost like you have let someone (who exactly?!) down for not "striving" for more. Money is often what is valued and respected in our society, and if you decide to step outside of that, many people, I find, don't like it, and don't always make the effort to hide this.

How funny that once upon a time women would be criticised for going back to work, but now it is the opposite? Perhaps the pattern is patriarchy is still at play and women continue to feel external pressure when trying to take control of their own lives.

Urban Birds and charity finds

Would I manage to get a few jobs done out and about with a toddler in tow? Well today somehow we managed it. Post Office, a bag load of stuff to go to the charity shop, banking, a small amount of shopping, all done on a windy albeit mild day. A few good finds in the charity shop; an old miniature toy town set, plus a lovely small yellow watering can that U was very excited about ( so much so that we watered the plants as soon as we got home).

Walking back to the car down a reasonably quiet but urban street off the main road (Victoria Road) in Govanhill, came the loudest chatter of sparrows from a huge overgrown privet bush. We spent some time peering inside the bush to try and see them. A tangled dense maze of branches, and they flicker and flutter about so quickly it's hard to keep track of them. Then a flash and a swoop and they were on to the next bush, a dozen or so in total I reckon. In the tree above us we saw a magpie pottering about a nest. I love stumbling upon wildlife in the city, the lives of other species existing in the background of so much human activity, hustle and bustle.

Just this past week or so I would say the number of birds coming into closer contact has increased. There's definitely more dunnocks (the most common bird I see that actually uses the bird feeder) and blue tits at our bird feeder. A wagtail was hopping across the road yesterday and a good number of goldfinches use the trees outside our flat. The odd song thrush. Still no sign of the bullfinches I saw frequently last year.

P.S Just managed a few pictures of our finds:

.